My wiser self.

My wiser self. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Over the last two days Matt and I did our annual planning together.

Over the las few years as our friendship has deepened and flourished we have supported each other in an ongoing discussion about life and where we are heading and all its ups and downs.

I think this is our second year of more formally getting together and working through the big questions we have for the next year or so.

Yesterday was really powerful for me. Matt has such an intuitive sense of how to guide the conversation. In particular he helped me tap into my wisdom.

I found a bigger perspective, a place from where I could see all the things I am doing and understand that I am playing the long game.

I realised that, whilst I’m good at imagining what the long game might be, I’m not so good at keeping the long game in mind whilst I live the day to day delivery of that bigger picture.

Which means I can get frustrated and disappointed in all the things I’m doing in order to deliver on my bigger vision.

In the daily minutia of delivery, I can forget that I am choosing all of this for a very good reason. Also, that the benefits of the long game are already here, now. There is some delayed gratification that I have to wait for…but it has been 14 years now of working on the long game. The richness of my life, the community of people who surround me, the art and joy and love that I get to participate in…all of this is the result of the long game.

In our planning time together I found a voice, a wiser self, through which I was able to give myself counsel.

This is the genius, black belt, skill of a friend and support like Matt. He isn’t trying to answer things for me. He is creating the space and opportunity for me to find my own answers. Occasionally that involves observations or insights from his perspective…mostly it is asking questions for me to reflect upon and discover my truth through.

He creates the chance for me to find my own wisdom and to choose the path I want to take.

That’s why my friend Matt is a very special gift in my life.

Love

Luke

I am nature.

I am nature. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Being with nature.

Putting my feet in the grass.

Picking the spent gardenia flowers from the bush, so that more can grow.

Looking at the growth of the Japanese maple leaves.

Seeing the striking red of the feijoa flowers blooming for the first time.

Picking some mint so I can bring the bright aroma into the house with me.

Being with nature?

Yes. It's my only option.

I am nature.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,106

A clean house.

A clean house. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The feeling of a clean house is well worth the effort of cleaning it up…so why don't I spend more time regularly cleaning it up?

My attitude/approach to this form of self-care is frustrating…I really do wish I could raise the bar on this.

I wonder why I don’t?

I do find there is nothing like visitors to get me to act!

But the real beneficiary is me.

I must remember that.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,105

Stamp Money.

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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Sunday evening with friends.

Sunday evening with friends. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Time with friends over dinner is a delight.

Taking the time to prepare a meal.

Sitting for long enough to eat it.

Letting the layers of life unfold until we come to meet each other.

A lovely Sunday evening with friends.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,104

Don’t believe the hype.

Don’t believe the hype. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The feeling of possibility is tangible right now.

It’s a high of sorts. A belief. An energy.

A momentum even.

Where does this feeling come from?

Why is it here today, when a week ago I was walking through mud?

It is all in my thinking, I know that…but why? How?

What do I do with it?

Well that’s easy. Ride it.

Enjoy it. But don’t believe the hype.

Know that everything is temporary.

And that sometimes you have a win.

Take the win.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,102

Stamp Money.

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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Money is a strange thing.

Money is a strange thing. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

What is something worth?

Money is such a strange thing.

It’s this made up idea. This agreement we all have to represent value in an abstract way. Which is even weirder now that we hand that value over to banks as a series of 000000’s and 111111’s.

It is ‘make believe’, on one level, but very real on another.

Particularly if you don't have any of this fantasy to pay for things like food and shelter.

Getting caught up in money is far too easy. Dreaming about all the things money could do. Wishing I had more. Hungering after this virtual nothingness…

But it doesn’t represent what’s really important. (Particularly after I have enough to pay my bills and eat and all that).

People are what matter.

Relationships, connection and community.

Money is important, but only so important.

The people in my life are important. Really important.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,101

Stamp Money.

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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A weight off my shoulders.

A weight off my shoulders. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m a bit confused.

The last week or so I have had very tight shoulders. This is quite unusual for me. But, for some reason, my shoulders have become like ropes. Very uncomfortable.

Why?

I don’t think there is one reason.

I dug some holes, that probably contributed.

I’ve been at the gym more than I was, I’m sure that played a part (but maybe not…)

I’ve been busy, very busy, busier than I like to be.

Yesterday something happened, and the tension started to drop away.

This was a huge relief. But also confusing. What happened?

I went to the gym and whilst I was warm I stretched out my back – so that helped. But, I think this was actually the key piece, I also got some of my creative projects moving again. And when I did I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders.

There is something important going on here. Something that seems counter intuitive.

When I don’t have a clear commitment to my next creative deadline then I fall in a hole. I act like I am giving myself a break…which obviously having some down time is needed, but if I am wavering on whether I should do this or that, or what the next move is, or whatever then I go into a kind of limbo that makes me feel like everything I am doing is a waste of time.

When I get a new project in place and I commit to delivering it, then the opposite happens. All the effort I am doing to make my life keep turning is worth it. Then I become productive again.

Strangely, at these times, I don’t need less to do I need more.

Who knew?

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,100

Stamp Money.

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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Gratitude

Gratitude. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I live a blessed life.

But I’m not always happy.

I can’t deny my feelings, but I also can’t deny the facts.

I am a very privileged person living in one of the most privileged countries in the world.

So, how do I justify feeling grumpy or sad about things?

I can’t.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel this way sometimes.

What I can do is acknowledge how I am feeling, take a deep breath and move on.

I live in a culture that has taught me to expect more than I have all the time.

That’s unsustainable and unhealthy.

Gratitude.

Being grateful for my life is the most important thing I can do.

That will help me see things for what they really are.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,099

Stamp Money.

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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My beautiful schedule.

My beautiful schedule. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Sometimes I don’t feel like doing it and yet I do it anyhow because it is in my schedule and I have already committed to doing it.

That’s the beauty of a schedule.

It’s an agreement with myself as to what is important to me and an allocation of time according to that agreement.

In a way following it becomes a ritual, something I do because I do it. Something I have already agreed with myself has meaning for me.

This saves me negotiating with myself every day whether I think this or that is worth the effort or interesting or the ‘right thing’ to do.

I can’t really believe how much I enjoy having things locked down into a schedule. I would never have thought this was the kind of thing I wanted, but there you go, it is.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,098

Stamp Money.

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I feel whole again.

I feel whole again. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I feel whole again. After an epic Campfire last night something feels different.

The things I had been looking at that seemed insurmountable, or worse – no longer interesting, are now once again back in focus. I know that I can sort out what I need to sort out to get things moving again.

How did Campfire do this?

Campfire looks like it is all about people getting together and performing for each other. Practically, that is what happens. But that’s not why its magic.

It’s all the bits that sit in-between that make it magic.

Watching people, who have never met each other, stand around and talk, like it's the most natural thing in the world to get to know new people.

Seeing someone who came on their own hugging people goodbye as they leave.

Watching someone who hasn’t spoken all night share something about how a performance moved them.

It’s my friend Fox spending the day with me hanging out in the studio and getting things ready for the magic to happen because he loves this thing as much as I do.

It’s my friend Suzanne staying after the event and playing piano so people can stand around and sing for hours (yes, hours) after Campfire has officially finished.

It's a group of men in the kitchen doing dishes and sharing laughs and kindness and joy because that’s what men do.

It’s people telling me about how they feel hope again because they have found a place where there are good people listening to and caring about each other because that’s what humans do.

It’s knowing that there are profoundly gifted musicians/performers in the room who are enjoying the experience of watching others perform so much that they let go of performing for a night so that they can sit back and soak it all in.

It’s watching someone learn how to use a loop machine, live in front of the audience.

It’s my endless jar of honey driving halfway across the state to be there, even though it would have been much easier (and totally fine) to sit this one out.

It’s the surprise visit from Cam and Sarah who know how much it means to me to have friends with me on this journey.

It’s my friend Gar in Sydney sending me a video of the family concert he ran in Sydney in a friend’s lounge room at the exact same time we ran Campfire in Melbourne.

It’s all of this. And then on top of that are all the incredible open-hearted performances from everyone who turned up.

All of this creates something special in me.

It makes me feel that I belong.

That I’m in good company.

That it’s going to be ok, even if things sometimes aren’t ok.

It makes me feel whole again.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,097

Firewood

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If you have walked away from Campfire with a sense of belonging and hope then buying some firewood is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation and to keep the Campfire burning.

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