Self-discovery

I feel sadness.

I feel sadness. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I feel sadness. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I feel sadness. 

A little weight that I’m carrying.

Where joy and lightness normally live.

It’s a little heavy.

But it’s okay.

I’m happy enough to carry a little sadness.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,294

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The only way to find out is to ask.

The only way to find out is to ask. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The only way to find out is to ask. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Sometimes I have imaginary conversations with people in my life.

It’s usually when things haven’t gone well, or I haven’t heard from someone in a long time and I seem to be trying to fill in the gap of what the other person might be thinking.

The problem with these thought experiments is that, even though I’m in charge of both sides of the conversation, I can find myself believing the other person has said or at least thinks the things I have imagined they are thinking or saying.

Of course, none of this is real. I am filling a gap here by making up both sides of the conversation.

The only way to find out what someone is thinking is to ask them.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,292

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Alive in my hands.

Alive in my hands. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Alive in my hands. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I love when I fall in love with a new song.

When something about a song grabs me to the point where I want to learn to play and sing it on the piano…and then I find myself drawn to practicing it all the time…I love that.

It’s like having a sewing project that I am working on that I can’t put down.

A creative curiosity that is alive in my hands brings me joy.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,291

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

What’s important.

What’s important. Drawing Luke Hockley.

What’s important. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It feels like that moment is coming around again where I check in on what’s important to me.

So much has happened the last few years. I’ve learnt so much about myself and about the things I make.

I also have more of a sense of the positive impact I can have on the world with what I do.

Time to call a mate and have a good old chat about it all.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,283

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Frightened of buttonholes.

Frightened of buttonholes. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Frightened of buttonholes. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m frightened of doing the buttonholes on the shirt I am making.

They are kind of irreversible.

Once the fabric is cut (which you do as you start making them) then there is no going back.

It feels like I could really stuff this up.

What if I get it wrong and all the hours of sewing this shirt are for nothing?

Ah, that’s interesting.

I’m worried about the outcome…which is the opposite of how I approach making a shirt.

When I make a shirt I’m most interested in the process. I encourage myself to let go of the time it takes me to do make it and how the shirt will look in the end…and just do this step, now.

I find making shirts such an interesting metaphor for my life. I avoid getting things wrong, which means I find finishing things I really care about can be difficult. It’s ok to get things wrong.

Ok, it’s time to make the buttonholes. 

If they don’t work, they don’t work.

At least I will be moving forwards.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,281

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Sometimes it hurts.

Sometimes it hurts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Sometimes it hurts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Sometimes I wonder if I am up for managing the breadth and intensity of the ideas I have for changing the world.

I feel a bit like a ghostbuster who is trying to control one of those big streams of light without crossing the stream with anyone else.

I see what needs to be changed, I have a sense of what that might look like, I imagine a way that could happen, I throw it out into the world…and I try and manage the chaos of that as best I can, doing as little damage to myself and those around me.

But I don’t always succeed.

Sometimes it hurts.

Which makes me feel like pulling back and hiding.

And I don’t know what to do with all that.

Love

Luke  

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Day 1,274

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The thing I think I need to look at.

The thing I think I need to look at. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The thing I think I need to look at. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The thing I think I need to look at is not necessarily the thing I need to look at.

Because sometimes looking very hard at the thing I think I need to look at is just a way for me to get better at worrying about the thing I think I need to look at.

At these times, I’ve learnt, the healthiest thing to do is to look at something else. Almost anything else will do.

Then the thing I think I need to look at can have a bit of time outside the spotlight to sort itself out and work out whether it really, actually, needs to be looked at.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,271

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

White sauce.

White sauce. Drawing Luke Hockley.

White sauce. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

White sauce takes a surprisingly long time to make.

It all gets going reasonably quickly, but the thickening bit seems to go on forever.

Stirring and stirring and stirring…until my arm is sore.

Why bother?

Lasagne is why.

It is delicious and totally worth the effort of making white sauce.

Life’s a bit like that too.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,265

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

A light hand.

A light hand. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A light hand. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Some people seem to be able to manage the projects they run with a light hand.

I don’t think this is my strength.

I watch the details.

I like to think I let go of nit picking that doesn’t move things forward…but I must confess that I think things through from many angles and reflect on how any decision might impact upon the goal that the project is trying to achieve.

Having said that, I’m not one of those details for details sake kind of people.

Once things are tracking in the right direction I am so happy to let the thing run or be run as needs be.

A light hand, what would that look like?

I wonder how it would work?

Love

Luke

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Day 1,263

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

A calm moment

A calm moment. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A calm moment. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

This week I have found myself in one of those rare windows where the load matched the time and energy I had to carry it.  

I found myself not having to particularly rush between things (or at least not all the time). I got to the gym, had my lunch break, finished on time.  

It was pleasant, actually.  

Love

Luke.  

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Day 1,262

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.