Mood

I’ve reached my limit.

I’ve reached my limit. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I’ve reached my limit. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It has been an extremely productive two days…but I have had enough of typing and looking at the screen.

I’ve reached my limit.

I’ve exercised and kept a good balance of things (Sewing! Yay!) so I am actually feeling pretty good.

However, I notice my tolerance for personal conversations that require me to think about exciting details like dates and times and the like has almost evaporated.

I just need a few days doing things that don’t involve a computer screen.

Lucky this weekend is Campfire!

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,367

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

An anxious butterfly.

An anxious butterfly. Drawing Luke Hockley

An anxious butterfly. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

There is an anxious, butterfly pressure on my solar plexus.

Choices? Options? Pressure?

Busyness? Change?

What is it I wonder?

Too much rich food?

Not enough water?

Trying to solve other people’s problems?

Yes. Probably.

All of that.

Yes. Ok.

Ok.

It will be ok.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,350

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Nothing left to give…?

Nothing left to give…? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Nothing left to give…? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

One day, quite a few years ago, I was sitting on the step to our bungalow in our falling apart rental in Northcote enjoying a bit of sun when our cat, Mamma - who died a few years ago, came up and started rubbing against my legs.

My endless jar of honey had trained her to be brushed at the back step with a special brush…and she loved it. So, she was pretty insistent.

I was very frustrated.

I couldn’t be bothered.

I was tired and a bit over it and just wanted to sit in the sun and recharge.

Later that day, when my endless jar of honey arrived home, I complained to him about all this…

“She just kept insisting that I pat her…and I just couldn’t. I just didn’t have anything to give her!”

He looked at me, patiently and said…

“Maybe it’s not about what you’ve got to give her…”

Ahhh….of course.

This lesson, that I am deeply energised by giving what I have to other living things, comes back to me again and again.

One more reason to be grateful for the endless jar of honey in my life.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,305

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

A little slower.

A little slower. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A little slower. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’d like to look forward and plan my next few months a little better.

Specifically, I’d like to look at the time that I have more control over and make some choices about what I want to do with that time.

I have this picture of sitting and sewing as I listen to stories.

Simple really.

I think it requires me to take the foot of the accelerator a little though to make it happen.

It’s been a big start to the year.

I think taking things a little slower would be nice right now.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,277

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I am blah.

I am blah. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I am blah. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I am blah.

It’s not a very nice way to be.

Nor is it a disaster.

It’s just a bit in between.

Blah is a nowhere land.

It's not any of the strong emotions that I have clear names for.

It’s like a version of life jetlag.

Something about the rhythm of life feels out of sync.

And I just find myself…blah.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,276

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The thing I think I need to look at.

The thing I think I need to look at. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The thing I think I need to look at. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The thing I think I need to look at is not necessarily the thing I need to look at.

Because sometimes looking very hard at the thing I think I need to look at is just a way for me to get better at worrying about the thing I think I need to look at.

At these times, I’ve learnt, the healthiest thing to do is to look at something else. Almost anything else will do.

Then the thing I think I need to look at can have a bit of time outside the spotlight to sort itself out and work out whether it really, actually, needs to be looked at.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,271

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Don’t throw the buttonhole out.

Don’t throw the buttonhole out. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Don’t throw the buttonhole out. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m learning how to sew a buttonhole.

Or, rather, I’m learning a new way to sew a buttonhole.

Originally, I kind of made it up…I did a hand version of what I had seen a sewing machine do.

It was ok…but clumsy, or I thought there must be a better way or something like that. So, I found some instructions in a needle craft book of Mum’s on how to sew a button hole.

So far it is incredibly clumsy, and I don’t like it at all.

But I think I need to persist a bit longer.

I feel like a bit of repetition will help me see if I don’t like it because I’m not familiar and skilled enough or because it is actually awkward.

Let’s not throw the buttonhole out before it’s had a chance.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,219

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I use the internet to avoid myself.

I use the internet to avoid myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I use the internet to avoid myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I use the internet to avoid myself.

I just did it then.

Endless clicking and searching, anything really, just so that I don’t have to turn up to this conversation with myself.

That’s why having this moment locked in is so great.

There is somewhere to come back to.

Something I can use as a reference point.

An agreed point of reflection.

And so…

I come back.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,207

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

An unhelpful conversation.

An unhelpful conversation. Drawing Luke Hockley.

An unhelpful conversation. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m having a bit of an unhelpful conversation with myself at the moment.

Stopping myself from doing things because of how it might look to other people.

I have this habit of knowing what I want and then standing on the edge of it and not taking the action that needs to be taken to make it happen.

Letting all kinds of small logistical problems get in the way of me doing the thing I want to do.

I could really do without that kind of stagnation.

Is it a fear of doing something publicly that might not be quite right?

Of changing direction in public? Of having to explain myself to others?

I’m not sure.

But I would dearly love this unhealthy conversation to stop.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,191

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

This guy.

This guy. Drawing Luke Hockley.

This guy. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

This guy, sitting next to me on the plane, takes up more space than he is allocated.

Only ever so slightly more.

But more.

He is very tall. And quite broad shouldered.

And I think he maybe thinks that he is taking up the amount of space he needs…because he is quite tall and all of that.

But he’s not.

He is taking up ever so slightly more than he needs…how do I know that?

Because I am tall and reasonably broad shouldered…and I manage to fit myself into my seat without encroaching on the space of the people beside me.

This guy kind of annoys me because he thinks his comfort is more important than all of ours.

And it’s not.

It’s just not.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,184

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.