Life

Visiting myself daily.

Visiting myself daily. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Visiting myself daily. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Visiting myself daily.

A cup of tea.

A privilege.

Warm kindness.

Harsh reality.

Looking through a window, taking a breath.

Owning my bag of stuff.

Self-respect, discovery, uncertainty.

Messy.

A ritual made from…

A cup of tea

Visiting myself daily.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,347

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Older.

Older. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Older. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m noticing myself getting older.

I keep seeing a metaphor of an old chipped tea pot.

Well loved, functional, stained full of memories, comforting.

There is no getting around time.

I’m not sure if I ever thought there was.

As I get older it becomes clearer that enjoying the spoils of lived life…well what other choice do I have?

To fight is futile. Isn’t it?

The risk of all this “acceptance” is that I subconsciously begin to accept other people’s ideas about what getting older means.

The world has a lot of ideas about all of this that hold no interest for me. But it is easy to start thinking in those frames when they are communicated so clearly and with such strength.

(I know I’m not ‘old’, I know I’m ‘in the middle’, I’m saying older…we all get older every day)

The remedy to all of this is being in this moment.

I am this being, right here, right now.

I can do and say and think the things I can do and say and think right now.

That’s it.

That’s all of it.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,346

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support

Beautiful but damaged.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I had a bad dream last night.

A house that was haunted, but beautiful, but damaged.

We wanted to live in it.

Reimagine it.

Reinvent.

Restore it.

I felt frightened that the house was too damaged to regenerate.

But moved into it anyway.

When I woke up, I could feel the house was me.

That the haunted, damaged past was part of the beauty.

I could see that ghosts of events that happened through me are not me.

A kind piano to play,

in the corner,

sings the darkness away.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,345

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I am a weary river.

I am a weary river. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I am a weary river. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I am a weary river.

Travelling to the sea.

Pulled skyward with a busy mind.

Unearthed.

Unanchored.

Unmoored.

A deep breath finds my toes in the silt sand of the river.

My feet, legs, pelvis, torso, body arrives.

The weight of distraction flows around me.

Arrived.

Here.

Love

Luke.

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Day 1,343

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Why do everything else?

Why do everything else? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Why do everything else? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I spent the day sewing.

Surprisingly difficult to get myself to this place.

Why?

Why do I do everything else before I do the thing that I really want to do.

Excuse making!

Several times today I found myself talking myself out of doing some other ‘important’ task so that I could get back to sewing.

I’m finding my ability to focus on one thing a little challenged at the moment. The real peace comes when I’m just in the thing I’m doing.

That takes practice.

So, I’ll practice.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,342

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I long for New York and a Ben hug

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,
I just spoke with my mate Ben, who lives in New York. It has been over a year since we spoke.

Our friendship is blessed with that comfortable ability to be at a distance without us becoming really distant.

Like all things it needs attention to keep the thread connected, it was time we spoke.

Technology has done so much damage, I know, but one of its most valuable attributes is its ability to bring the vibrancy of a New York soundscape at 7pm on a Friday into my Saturday morning  lounge room in Melbourne.

We’ve known each other since we were in our very early 20’s...We’ve reached the stage now where we are starting to notice the marks of time upon our lives. Both our physical and emotional worlds...the things to celebrate, the things to lament but also embrace.

Thinking about it now I long for New York and a Ben hug.

A barely known adventure of a city and the comfort of someone who doesn’t know the latest ‘drama’ in my life and so, therefore, knows me all the better.

Someone who has seen me ‘at it’ long enough to appreciate my small, complex, contradictory, but ever inching forwards, progress, failure and success. And a city that is the perfect back drop to long, meandering conversations about that adventure.

Randomly, many of my friends are travelling, or living, outside of Melbourne right now.

Unusually the space, this distance, helps me appreciate them more right now.

Normally this would be a moment of intense loneliness. 

Not so...

Perhaps this is a mark of some internal change, dare I say progress... 

Yes, let’s say it’s that.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,341

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Recovery.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Recovery.

Slow and grumpy.

Wanting to be somewhere I’m not.

Accepting where I am.

An odd pleasure in having to slow down.

Recovery.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,340

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Ouch.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The other day a good friend of mine hurt their back at the gym. They’d called to talk to me about something else, a life question, a weighty one…but the back thing had just happened and we started with that.

I can’t help myself. Having spent so much time working through injuries (so I could keep working/dancing) and with a life long obsession about how movement works I dove right in.

“I reckon it’s good to go into Old Person mode. Treating yourself kindly, but not too delicately, robust old person mode. Move as much as you can, but no more, for the next 24-48 hours. Heat and cold? Everyone has different theories. This kind of injury in a back I reckon a bit of ice on the actual site, but really small amounts of time (3-5mins max), but keep everything else warm. The body is seizing up to protect itself. Moving in a limited range as much as you can (essentially don’t “test” the injury, to see if it is still their) keeps it safe so you can warm everything else up to stop the seizing…Don’t worry the thing, trust that it will heal, don’t pull on the knot by telling a story to yourself that makes things tighten…”

Yep. Pure advice. Possibly a little unsolicited…though gratefully received.

As our conversation progressed onto my buddies ‘life questions’ it became clear how the things, the incident in the gym, my proposal for how to respond, the life questions and the possible response to those all kind of lined up.

So curious.

The very good news is my friend woke up the next day feeling pretty good. Maybe our chat, or something else helped? Or just the ongoing mystery of the human body in action? Who knows?

Today, at the gym, I lifted a heavy thing and hurt my back.

Ha!

So, it’s time for me to take some of my own advice.

I do wonder, though, is this injury a metaphor somehow for what’s going on in my life? Is there something for me to discovery here about how I might approach the challenges and opportunities I face?

I wonder.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,339

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Allowed to…

Allowed to. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Allowed to. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Today I am a sleeping bear.

Tired heavy contented eyes.

Walking between time.

From object to object.

Allowed to do very, very little.

Enjoying a momentary breath in and out.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,335

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The knowing

The knowing. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The knowing. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Laying on my back

My legs up the wall

Warm blankets wrapped around me

I’ve just been exercising, hard.

I’m tired, relieved even.

A window of ease and kindness opens

My back spreading in cooperation with gravity

My legs heavy and heavy and heavy.

My experience of the world expands

I’m bathed in knowing

Attentive

Free from internal discussion about that moment or the moment coming

I’m here. Knowing that, without using words to name it.

Here.

As quickly as it arrived, the open window shuts.

I think some words.

Distracted.

I don’t fully recover the knowing, equally, the knowing doesn’t really leave me.

That moment refills me.

An energy reboot.

That holds me for much longer than I would imagine it could.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,334

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.