Kindness

I’m good at some things.

Dear Self,

I’m good at some things.

I can feel it when I do those things.

People appreciate what I do, they get joy, or clarity, or feel moved, or are able to move forward, or deepen their understanding, or…

It’s good to know this. Good to acknowledge it.

I can spend a lot of time reflecting on how I could be better at things I’m not good at.

Ok. Sure. That’s fine.

But it can’t be the whole story…that would be just exhausting.

So, there are some things that I’m good at.

Great.

Let’s build from there.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,353

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An anxious butterfly.

Dear Self,

There is an anxious, butterfly pressure on my solar plexus.

Choices? Options? Pressure?

Busyness? Change?

What is it I wonder?

Too much rich food?

Not enough water?

Trying to solve other people’s problems?

Yes. Probably.

All of that.

Yes. Ok.

Ok.

It will be ok.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,350

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Visiting myself daily.

Visiting myself daily. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Visiting myself daily. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Visiting myself daily.

A cup of tea.

A privilege.

Warm kindness.

Harsh reality.

Looking through a window, taking a breath.

Owning my bag of stuff.

Self-respect, discovery, uncertainty.

Messy.

A ritual made from…

A cup of tea

Visiting myself daily.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,347

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Beautiful but damaged.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I had a bad dream last night.

A house that was haunted, but beautiful, but damaged.

We wanted to live in it.

Reimagine it.

Reinvent.

Restore it.

I felt frightened that the house was too damaged to regenerate.

But moved into it anyway.

When I woke up, I could feel the house was me.

That the haunted, damaged past was part of the beauty.

I could see that ghosts of events that happened through me are not me.

A kind piano to play,

in the corner,

sings the darkness away.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,345

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Escape.

Escape. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Escape. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Escape.

From my cliched writing.

Words that have been dribbled so many times.

By me.

By everyone.

Escape.

Myself and my view of things.

The impossible escape.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,344

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I long for New York and a Ben hug

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,
I just spoke with my mate Ben, who lives in New York. It has been over a year since we spoke.

Our friendship is blessed with that comfortable ability to be at a distance without us becoming really distant.

Like all things it needs attention to keep the thread connected, it was time we spoke.

Technology has done so much damage, I know, but one of its most valuable attributes is its ability to bring the vibrancy of a New York soundscape at 7pm on a Friday into my Saturday morning  lounge room in Melbourne.

We’ve known each other since we were in our very early 20’s...We’ve reached the stage now where we are starting to notice the marks of time upon our lives. Both our physical and emotional worlds...the things to celebrate, the things to lament but also embrace.

Thinking about it now I long for New York and a Ben hug.

A barely known adventure of a city and the comfort of someone who doesn’t know the latest ‘drama’ in my life and so, therefore, knows me all the better.

Someone who has seen me ‘at it’ long enough to appreciate my small, complex, contradictory, but ever inching forwards, progress, failure and success. And a city that is the perfect back drop to long, meandering conversations about that adventure.

Randomly, many of my friends are travelling, or living, outside of Melbourne right now.

Unusually the space, this distance, helps me appreciate them more right now.

Normally this would be a moment of intense loneliness. 

Not so...

Perhaps this is a mark of some internal change, dare I say progress... 

Yes, let’s say it’s that.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,341

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Recovery.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Recovery.

Slow and grumpy.

Wanting to be somewhere I’m not.

Accepting where I am.

An odd pleasure in having to slow down.

Recovery.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,340

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Ouch.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The other day a good friend of mine hurt their back at the gym. They’d called to talk to me about something else, a life question, a weighty one…but the back thing had just happened and we started with that.

I can’t help myself. Having spent so much time working through injuries (so I could keep working/dancing) and with a life long obsession about how movement works I dove right in.

“I reckon it’s good to go into Old Person mode. Treating yourself kindly, but not too delicately, robust old person mode. Move as much as you can, but no more, for the next 24-48 hours. Heat and cold? Everyone has different theories. This kind of injury in a back I reckon a bit of ice on the actual site, but really small amounts of time (3-5mins max), but keep everything else warm. The body is seizing up to protect itself. Moving in a limited range as much as you can (essentially don’t “test” the injury, to see if it is still their) keeps it safe so you can warm everything else up to stop the seizing…Don’t worry the thing, trust that it will heal, don’t pull on the knot by telling a story to yourself that makes things tighten…”

Yep. Pure advice. Possibly a little unsolicited…though gratefully received.

As our conversation progressed onto my buddies ‘life questions’ it became clear how the things, the incident in the gym, my proposal for how to respond, the life questions and the possible response to those all kind of lined up.

So curious.

The very good news is my friend woke up the next day feeling pretty good. Maybe our chat, or something else helped? Or just the ongoing mystery of the human body in action? Who knows?

Today, at the gym, I lifted a heavy thing and hurt my back.

Ha!

So, it’s time for me to take some of my own advice.

I do wonder, though, is this injury a metaphor somehow for what’s going on in my life? Is there something for me to discovery here about how I might approach the challenges and opportunities I face?

I wonder.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,339

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

A tired heavy shoe.

A tired heavy shoe. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A tired heavy shoe. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

This morning I am tired like a heavy shoe.

Everything has just a bit more drag on it than need be.

Which makes each step a bit harder than it has to be.

Muddy, sluggish, walking.

The only way through this stuff, in my experience, is to move.

Straight through the middle of it all.

Just keep moving.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,338

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Snuggle, cuddle, cold, grey, drab of a day.

Snuggle, cuddle, cold, grey, drab of a day. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Snuggle, cuddle, cold, grey, drab of a day. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It’s a snuggle, cuddle, cold, grey, drab of a day.

Couch and books and movies and sewing and snoozing.

It’s the kind of a day where it is easy for me to get an attitude problem.

To think I don’t enjoy my life.

Which is pretty funny.

Because I love my life.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,337

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.