Holiday

After the holidays.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I used to love going back to school after the holidays were over.

I think I got bored during my time off.

Under challenged, maybe.

I like thinking about things. Testing myself. Making stuff.

Being occupied with things I find interesting.

School was a pretty good structure to get me to do all that.

I’ve just noticed that I feel a little similar about getting back from this holiday.

I’m ready to do stuff.

To sink my teeth into things.

To get occupied!

Ask me how all that is going in a week’s time!

Love

Luke

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Day 1,330

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The rhythms of my life.

The rhythms of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The rhythms of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Holidays are a kind of limbo to me.

A partial suspension of things.

Some things are great to have a break from…but some things I don’t need to take a break from.

Actually, as much as I love a holiday…I don’t ‘need a break’ the way I hear other people talk about ‘needing a break’.

I like holidays because I get some deep time with people that I care a lot about…but I also miss a lot of my day to day life.

I enjoy the rhythms of my life.

That’s a lovely thing to realise.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,327

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That holiday feeling.

That holiday feeling. Drawing Luke Hockley.

That holiday feeling. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

A long walk along the coastline.

A quick swim.

Sitting about at lunch. For ages.

Lounging at home.

Dinner out at a fancy restaurant.

I’d like to officially welcome that holiday feeling.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,324

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Slow down.

Slow down. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Slow down. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Slow down.

No, slower than that.

No, even slower than that.

No. Really.

Slow. Down.

Really.

Actually.

Just.

Slow.

Down.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,322

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Holding onto the thread of myself.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It is hardest to keep up this daily writing habit during the holidays.

All the edges fray.

I stop shaving.

I get to bed late.

I don’t wake at 6 am.

I don’t get out of bed and sit down and write.

The day becomes a deconstructed series of events that have fewer edges than normal…and I forget.

Why not just stop writing for the holidays?

I’ve thought about that.

I keep writing because it means through periods of rest and regeneration I keep a hold of the thread of myself.

Which I find valuable.

And comforting.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,316

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One more thing...

One more thing... Drawing Luke Hockley.

One more thing... Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

There’s always one more thing.

One more email, one more phone call, one more bill, one more piece of paper to move, one more thing to write.

I’m trying to get away on holiday.

At some point I’ve just got to call it right?

And just let it all go and leave.

Right.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,311

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Enjoying all the things.

Enjoying all the things. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Enjoying all the things. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I have a lot to do and only a limited number of days to do it in.

And, I’d like to enjoy all those things.

Ok, that’s good to note. All these things are things I have chosen to do. They all make the world a better place, so – well worth the effort.

Then, once they are all done, I’m going on a holiday!

So, do lots of great things you love and then go on a holiday and have fun.

No problems.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,308

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Will I regret this?

Will I regret this? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Will I regret this? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’ve just spent the afternoon moving in ways I have not moved for quite some time.

Handstands and cartwheels and play wrestling on the beach.

It felt great to be moving again, but…will I regret this in the morning?

Let’s wait and see.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,186

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I love the rhythm of my life.

I love the rhythm of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I love the rhythm of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The thing about holidays is that the rhythm of my life goes all haywire.

It seems like it is ideal.

Freedom!

I can do what I want, sleep when I want, watch movies when I want, exercise when I want, eat when I want…

And that all sounds perfect, except it does not suit my constitution.

I am a creative soul who is incredibly nurtured by rhythms and structures.

I love deciding, in advance, what is important to me and then structuring my time to reflect that.

The decisions about what I will be doing when are then taken care of.

Time away from such a schedule is great, for a moment, but I tend to let go of the fundamental things that keep me balanced. Movement, writing this letter early each day, eating my meals at regular times, getting enough sleep…

Maybe I need to build a holiday rhythm? So that way I can have time away from the everyday but not lose the fundamentals?

Also, it’s nice to have a break every now and then, but the everyday is not a punishment I need to escape.

It is comforting to know that I love the rhythm of my life.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,143


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Something is different.

Something is different. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Something is different. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Something is different, and I don’t know what it is.

I feel different somehow. I feel less driven. I feel more…resigned? Or…content?

Acceptance? Is that it?

Lethargy?

Overwhelm?

Maturity?

Am I just in a holiday mood or am I losing my mojo or am I becoming deeply focused and more capable of letting go of trying to be everything to everyone?

I don’t know.

All I know is that something is different, and I don’t know what it is.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,140