Friendship

This fabulous life.

This fabulous life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

This fabulous life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I could easily get used to having a day off.

Buy endless pieces of fabric and make a stockpile.

Stand in the sun on a gentle spring day, every day.

Sew and sew and sew.

Text with my mate, a long running joke, that lasts for many days.

Living this fabulous life.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,390

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A moving performance.

A moving performance. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A moving performance. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

We had dinner with some of our closest friends last night. After we had eaten the youngest amongst us picked up their ukulele and played a classical song, Fur Elise, for us.

It was lovely.

They explained to us how they had learnt to play more delicately (we had noticed this change since the last performance a week or so ago) and proceeded to perform the song even more delicately.

During the performance they had an extremely light and nimble touch.

And we cried.

It was an incredibly moving performance.

The music was beautiful, but what really got me was the utter absorption in the exploration of a delicate version of this song…

And knowing the hours of dedication it took to get to a level of sophistication and refinement of skill to be able to perform in this way…

And knowing that we were trusted to see this exploration as it unfolded.

Very moving.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,383

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I’ve reached my limit.

I’ve reached my limit. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I’ve reached my limit. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It has been an extremely productive two days…but I have had enough of typing and looking at the screen.

I’ve reached my limit.

I’ve exercised and kept a good balance of things (Sewing! Yay!) so I am actually feeling pretty good.

However, I notice my tolerance for personal conversations that require me to think about exciting details like dates and times and the like has almost evaporated.

I just need a few days doing things that don’t involve a computer screen.

Lucky this weekend is Campfire!

Love

Luke

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Day 1,367

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Each beat

Each beat. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Each beat. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Each beat

Means I’m still connected

To the love

To life

Thank you

Each time

Thank you

Thank you

Love

Luke

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Day 1,358

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I long for New York and a Ben hug

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I long for New York and a Ben hug. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,
I just spoke with my mate Ben, who lives in New York. It has been over a year since we spoke.

Our friendship is blessed with that comfortable ability to be at a distance without us becoming really distant.

Like all things it needs attention to keep the thread connected, it was time we spoke.

Technology has done so much damage, I know, but one of its most valuable attributes is its ability to bring the vibrancy of a New York soundscape at 7pm on a Friday into my Saturday morning  lounge room in Melbourne.

We’ve known each other since we were in our very early 20’s...We’ve reached the stage now where we are starting to notice the marks of time upon our lives. Both our physical and emotional worlds...the things to celebrate, the things to lament but also embrace.

Thinking about it now I long for New York and a Ben hug.

A barely known adventure of a city and the comfort of someone who doesn’t know the latest ‘drama’ in my life and so, therefore, knows me all the better.

Someone who has seen me ‘at it’ long enough to appreciate my small, complex, contradictory, but ever inching forwards, progress, failure and success. And a city that is the perfect back drop to long, meandering conversations about that adventure.

Randomly, many of my friends are travelling, or living, outside of Melbourne right now.

Unusually the space, this distance, helps me appreciate them more right now.

Normally this would be a moment of intense loneliness. 

Not so...

Perhaps this is a mark of some internal change, dare I say progress... 

Yes, let’s say it’s that.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,341

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Ouch.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The other day a good friend of mine hurt their back at the gym. They’d called to talk to me about something else, a life question, a weighty one…but the back thing had just happened and we started with that.

I can’t help myself. Having spent so much time working through injuries (so I could keep working/dancing) and with a life long obsession about how movement works I dove right in.

“I reckon it’s good to go into Old Person mode. Treating yourself kindly, but not too delicately, robust old person mode. Move as much as you can, but no more, for the next 24-48 hours. Heat and cold? Everyone has different theories. This kind of injury in a back I reckon a bit of ice on the actual site, but really small amounts of time (3-5mins max), but keep everything else warm. The body is seizing up to protect itself. Moving in a limited range as much as you can (essentially don’t “test” the injury, to see if it is still their) keeps it safe so you can warm everything else up to stop the seizing…Don’t worry the thing, trust that it will heal, don’t pull on the knot by telling a story to yourself that makes things tighten…”

Yep. Pure advice. Possibly a little unsolicited…though gratefully received.

As our conversation progressed onto my buddies ‘life questions’ it became clear how the things, the incident in the gym, my proposal for how to respond, the life questions and the possible response to those all kind of lined up.

So curious.

The very good news is my friend woke up the next day feeling pretty good. Maybe our chat, or something else helped? Or just the ongoing mystery of the human body in action? Who knows?

Today, at the gym, I lifted a heavy thing and hurt my back.

Ha!

So, it’s time for me to take some of my own advice.

I do wonder, though, is this injury a metaphor somehow for what’s going on in my life? Is there something for me to discovery here about how I might approach the challenges and opportunities I face?

I wonder.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,339

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The rhythms of my life.

The rhythms of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The rhythms of my life. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Holidays are a kind of limbo to me.

A partial suspension of things.

Some things are great to have a break from…but some things I don’t need to take a break from.

Actually, as much as I love a holiday…I don’t ‘need a break’ the way I hear other people talk about ‘needing a break’.

I like holidays because I get some deep time with people that I care a lot about…but I also miss a lot of my day to day life.

I enjoy the rhythms of my life.

That’s a lovely thing to realise.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,327

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I pretend.

I pretend. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I pretend. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I pretend that I have got myself to a point where I don’t care what other people think about me.

I do a reasonably good job of convincing myself of this.

Perhaps, at times, it is even true.

But I do care.

More often than I like to admit.

I really do care.

Damn it.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,326

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Other people’s stuff.

Other people’s stuff. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Other people’s stuff. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I so easily look at other people’s stuff and know what they should do.

I can see their insecurities so clearly. Can see how they are undermining their own goals. Can see the logical, obvious, pathway through for them.

If they could just get over themselves everything would be fine.

Funny how I can’t seem to do all that for myself.

If I could just get over myself…

Love

Luke

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Day 1,321

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I can only live today.

I can only live today. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I can only live today. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Looking forwards there is so much to worry about.

What’s going to happen?

How will things work out?

Will things work out?

I’m afraid of ending up alone.

There’s nothing I can do about tomorrow.

Today, I’m not alone.

I can only live today.

Tomorrow is for tomorrow.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,320

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.