Exhaustion

I long for sleep.

Dear Self,

I long for sleep.

It’s not far away now, but oh…how I am looking forward to it.

Sometimes sleep can be a little elusive, but not tonight.

Tonight, I can feel the edges of it wrapping over me already.

What a treasure sleep is.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,307

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A long day?

A long day. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A long day. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

My taxi driver just asked me if I had had a long day.

I’d been sitting there scrolling quietly through social media (Ew, right? I’m that guy?), I didn’t feel like it had been a particularly long day…

I looked up and said that I’d been on the go since 6 am…

He looked at me shocked and said…

“It’s 11pm, that's 17 hours. That’s a long day”

I realised there was a reason I was feeling a bit tired!

But also, in my defence your honour, I did all the things today. It was a full day, but full of all the things you want your day full of. I did some writing, I did some working, I hung out with a friend and did some moving, I helped some people make some art.

It was a full, but satisfying, long day.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,269

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The wall.

The wall. Drawing Luke Hockley

The wall. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

The wall is the wall is the wall.

Once it is reached, or rather, once it is hit…there’s not much to do other than go easy and be kind.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,255

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Phew.

Phew. Drawing Luke Hockley

Phew. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

Phew.

I made it.

Now it’s time to slow down and enjoy a couple of days at my own pace.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,249

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Every precious moment.

Every precious moment. Drawing Luke Hockley

Every precious moment. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

I know, I know it is such an outrageous cliché…but at the moment I am intensely aware of every precious moment that I have.

I’m curious about how to both be light and not let anything slip through my fingers.

How to experience everything, but not strangle it with a focus that is too intense.

Life is a gift. I want to experience that gift, but not spend nights sleepless around what I am experiencing.

There is something important going on for me about living it to the full in the day time and then sleeping soundly each evening.

I sleep much better than I used to. But I notice that when I am deep in a new adventure, when I am learning and discovering something about the world and how I want to be in it, that I can get restless at night.

I’d like to live my life to its edges. Which means hitting the pillow and sleeping soundly.

I think that’s my new goal.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,246

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Bed time.

Bed time. Drawing Luke Hockley

Bed time. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

It’s time to sleep.

That’s all I can say.

I had such opportunity to write something compelling today…but now it is late, I’ve hit the wall and that’s it.

Bed time.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,244

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I can’t be bothered knowing myself today.

I can’t be bothered knowing myself today. Drawing Luke Hockley

I can’t be bothered knowing myself today. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

I can’t be bothered knowing myself today.

It’s a bit of a theme at the moment.

When I can’t be bothered with myself like this it usually means I am avoiding something.

But what…?

Maybe it just means that I’m tired and fighting off a cold.

Yeah, let’s take that road instead.

I’ll do the real digging some other day.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,236

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If I feel anxious...

If I feel anxious. Drawing Luke Hockley.

If I feel anxious. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

If I feel anxious then I have to be anxious about something…right?

Right?

So, then…what?

What is it?

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,234

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Will I regret this?

Will I regret this? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Will I regret this? Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’ve just spent the afternoon moving in ways I have not moved for quite some time.

Handstands and cartwheels and play wrestling on the beach.

It felt great to be moving again, but…will I regret this in the morning?

Let’s wait and see.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,186

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Too tired.

Too tired. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Too tired. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Oh my.

What a very big week.

I’d love to tell you all about it…but I’m just too tired.

Sorry about that.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,172

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.