Choice

Arrival.

Arrival. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Arrival. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Scatter, scatter.

I ping pong my thoughts from rapid place to rapid place.

Solving small parts of many different problems in quick succession.

Never arriving, never landing, never seeing something through to the.

End.

I crave that long slow time.

I crave that place I get to where I am breathing into this thing I am doing.

I crave arrival.

Where does that live?

It lives in how I approach the thing I am doing.

It lives with me.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,348

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Beautiful but damaged.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I had a bad dream last night.

A house that was haunted, but beautiful, but damaged.

We wanted to live in it.

Reimagine it.

Reinvent.

Restore it.

I felt frightened that the house was too damaged to regenerate.

But moved into it anyway.

When I woke up, I could feel the house was me.

That the haunted, damaged past was part of the beauty.

I could see that ghosts of events that happened through me are not me.

A kind piano to play,

in the corner,

sings the darkness away.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,345

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Escape.

Escape. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Escape. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Escape.

From my cliched writing.

Words that have been dribbled so many times.

By me.

By everyone.

Escape.

Myself and my view of things.

The impossible escape.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,344

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Recovery.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Recovery. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Recovery.

Slow and grumpy.

Wanting to be somewhere I’m not.

Accepting where I am.

An odd pleasure in having to slow down.

Recovery.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,340

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Ouch.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Ouch. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The other day a good friend of mine hurt their back at the gym. They’d called to talk to me about something else, a life question, a weighty one…but the back thing had just happened and we started with that.

I can’t help myself. Having spent so much time working through injuries (so I could keep working/dancing) and with a life long obsession about how movement works I dove right in.

“I reckon it’s good to go into Old Person mode. Treating yourself kindly, but not too delicately, robust old person mode. Move as much as you can, but no more, for the next 24-48 hours. Heat and cold? Everyone has different theories. This kind of injury in a back I reckon a bit of ice on the actual site, but really small amounts of time (3-5mins max), but keep everything else warm. The body is seizing up to protect itself. Moving in a limited range as much as you can (essentially don’t “test” the injury, to see if it is still their) keeps it safe so you can warm everything else up to stop the seizing…Don’t worry the thing, trust that it will heal, don’t pull on the knot by telling a story to yourself that makes things tighten…”

Yep. Pure advice. Possibly a little unsolicited…though gratefully received.

As our conversation progressed onto my buddies ‘life questions’ it became clear how the things, the incident in the gym, my proposal for how to respond, the life questions and the possible response to those all kind of lined up.

So curious.

The very good news is my friend woke up the next day feeling pretty good. Maybe our chat, or something else helped? Or just the ongoing mystery of the human body in action? Who knows?

Today, at the gym, I lifted a heavy thing and hurt my back.

Ha!

So, it’s time for me to take some of my own advice.

I do wonder, though, is this injury a metaphor somehow for what’s going on in my life? Is there something for me to discovery here about how I might approach the challenges and opportunities I face?

I wonder.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,339

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Holding time

Holding time. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Holding time. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Every day I hold time.

My fingers tips pressed together holding a gentle, warm ball of time in the space between. Long and slow time.

A fire along my arms and neck and eyes and rapidly typing finger tips. Impatient and rapidly evaporating time.

A single hand, kind, tea cup circle of time.

Twenty minutes of anti-gravity time slowly falling from the ceiling down into my back. A broad surface of spreading time.

Leg pumping, moving through space, aerobic time.

Feet, hands, back, arms, belly, legs, head, full body. Time making sound.

Stitching time, patiently.

All of me dancing time.

My fingers tips pressed together holding a gentle, warm ball of time in the space between. Long and slow time.

Every day I hold time.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,333

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The infinite tight rope.

The infinite tight rope. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The infinite tight rope. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’m holding a thread in one hand that connects to my future (as yet unwritten) and another that stretches throughout my past in the other.

These two threads are connected to each other. They are one single thread that runs from my front hand to beneath my feet to my back hand.

The infinite tight rope that I am confidently but carefully walking along.

The game, if it can be called a game, is to hold each of the threads lightly and firmly but not be drawn too far into the thread of the future nor of the past.

The game, as it is, is to enjoy each step on the tight rope, knowing that these steps are possible because of the existence of this thread, without being pulled off the tight rope by my obsession with the impossible tasks of solving the past or dreaming the future.

The game is to be right here.

In this step.

Now.

Love

Luke.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,331

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

After the holidays.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I used to love going back to school after the holidays were over.

I think I got bored during my time off.

Under challenged, maybe.

I like thinking about things. Testing myself. Making stuff.

Being occupied with things I find interesting.

School was a pretty good structure to get me to do all that.

I’ve just noticed that I feel a little similar about getting back from this holiday.

I’m ready to do stuff.

To sink my teeth into things.

To get occupied!

Ask me how all that is going in a week’s time!

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,330

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Slow down.

Slow down. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Slow down. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Slow down.

No, slower than that.

No, even slower than that.

No. Really.

Slow. Down.

Really.

Actually.

Just.

Slow.

Down.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,322

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

I can only live today.

I can only live today. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I can only live today. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Looking forwards there is so much to worry about.

What’s going to happen?

How will things work out?

Will things work out?

I’m afraid of ending up alone.

There’s nothing I can do about tomorrow.

Today, I’m not alone.

I can only live today.

Tomorrow is for tomorrow.

Love

Luke

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Day 1,320

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.