Change

Fix the damn thing.

Dear Self,

Technology is totally amazing until it is totally shite.

Thing is, it has seduced me, you know.

It’s taken years…but inch by inch I have given over my autonomy to it.

So now, if it suddenly fails me, without explanation warning…well I’m totally stuffed.

And everything is set up now, so you buy it and pay every month for it…and there is literally no one on the other side of that transaction to help you sort out what the hell just happened.

No one.

At all.

How did we get here?

Shouldn’t someone be there to fix the damn thing when it stops working?

I mean, please!

Low level grumble about small, but significant inconvenience, over.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,352

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A break through.

Dear Self,

Things held for too long.

No movement.

Stagnant.

Waiting.

Waiting for something to change.

Watching.

For signs that progress will be made.

Watching.

Giving up.

Discouraged.

Until the crack appears, just a little.

Then the change.

The flood.

A breakthrough.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,351

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Beautiful but damaged.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I had a bad dream last night.

A house that was haunted, but beautiful, but damaged.

We wanted to live in it.

Reimagine it.

Reinvent.

Restore it.

I felt frightened that the house was too damaged to regenerate.

But moved into it anyway.

When I woke up, I could feel the house was me.

That the haunted, damaged past was part of the beauty.

I could see that ghosts of events that happened through me are not me.

A kind piano to play,

in the corner,

sings the darkness away.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,345

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After the holidays.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

After the holidays. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I used to love going back to school after the holidays were over.

I think I got bored during my time off.

Under challenged, maybe.

I like thinking about things. Testing myself. Making stuff.

Being occupied with things I find interesting.

School was a pretty good structure to get me to do all that.

I’ve just noticed that I feel a little similar about getting back from this holiday.

I’m ready to do stuff.

To sink my teeth into things.

To get occupied!

Ask me how all that is going in a week’s time!

Love

Luke

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Day 1,330

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Holding onto the thread of myself.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Holding onto the thread of myself. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

It is hardest to keep up this daily writing habit during the holidays.

All the edges fray.

I stop shaving.

I get to bed late.

I don’t wake at 6 am.

I don’t get out of bed and sit down and write.

The day becomes a deconstructed series of events that have fewer edges than normal…and I forget.

Why not just stop writing for the holidays?

I’ve thought about that.

I keep writing because it means through periods of rest and regeneration I keep a hold of the thread of myself.

Which I find valuable.

And comforting.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,316

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

When the weight lifts.

When the weight lifts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

When the weight lifts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I’ve been working through a whole bunch of things of late.

Life things.

Choices that I have.

Different roads I could go down.

Opportunity.

Which is all great. Except choices can sometimes lead to long periods of uncertainty and indecision. Which can be a bit weighty, at times.

Then, when the time comes, when the universe magically aligns and I’ve thought about things enough, from enough angles…the weight lifts.

Oh, the relief.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,306

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Cold air.

Cold air. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Cold air. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The air this morning has that ‘just blown off the snowy mountains’ feel to it.

And I haven’t even been outside yet.

Winter is here. It seemed to take a while arrive this year.

I couldn’t get myself out of bed this morning and yesterday I didn’t feel like exercising. It can be hard to get moving when it is this chilly.

I did, however, get going. I went for a run in the cold air yesterday and, of course, it was great.

A fresh blast to get the day moving.

Now I just have to get myself off the couch and out of the house.

No worries!

Love

Luke

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Day 1,289

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Fingers crossed. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

A picture is emerging.

Slowly but with a certain clarity and purpose, it is unveiling itself.

I don’t want to call it too early, don’t want to jinx things…but I can feel something is forming.

Fingers crossed.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,287

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Certainly unexpected.

Certainly Unexpected. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Certainly Unexpected. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Life is certainly unexpected. 

It seems like things are travelling in one direction...and then the wind changes and things are heading on a totally different course.  

That’s all.  

Love  

Luke.  

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Day 1,280

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Sometimes it hurts.

Sometimes it hurts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Sometimes it hurts. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Sometimes I wonder if I am up for managing the breadth and intensity of the ideas I have for changing the world.

I feel a bit like a ghostbuster who is trying to control one of those big streams of light without crossing the stream with anyone else.

I see what needs to be changed, I have a sense of what that might look like, I imagine a way that could happen, I throw it out into the world…and I try and manage the chaos of that as best I can, doing as little damage to myself and those around me.

But I don’t always succeed.

Sometimes it hurts.

Which makes me feel like pulling back and hiding.

And I don’t know what to do with all that.

Love

Luke  

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Day 1,274

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.