Belonging

I have a choice?

I have a choice? Drawing Luke Hockley

I have a choice? Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

I have a choice.

Immerse myself in deep gratitude for this amazing life I have.

Or…

Strive ungratefully for more.

I have a choice?

Not really.

I’ve already chosen.

Over and over again.

Sometimes I just forget to remember the choice I’ve made.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,397

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A man amongst men.

A man amongst men. Drawing Luke Hockley.

A man amongst men. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Last night I had the most wonderful experience.

I went to the opening night of ‘A Boy’s Own Story’, the exhibition that has included my hand sewn shirts.

During the speeches the curator, Louis Le Vaillant, spoke of the long tradition of men making with their hands. Specifically sewing, knitting, lace making, crochet…hand crafts. How the men, whose work was in the exhibition, had been handed theses skills from the mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers in their lives…but also from the fathers, uncles, brothers and grandfathers.

He highlighted that it is, and has always been completely normal for anyone, of any gender, to be drawn to this kind of making. That it is a recent phenomenon that we consider a ‘man’ doing these kinds of things as unusual or unexpected, which is really ‘code’ for ‘unmanly’.

I find gender a difficult thing.

I don’t often feel like I identify with ‘men’ as a category. Not because I see myself as a different gender, I’m very comfortable with my ‘maleness’…I just don’t identify with most of what society tells me about what being ‘a man’ means.

For a moment, during Louis speech I felt like I was a man standing amongst other men. And that this was something I could feel proud of. These skills, this knowledge and craft and deep time spent making – that these were all ‘manly’ acts because I/we identify as men and we do them.

Perhaps I felt less alone?

Yes, yes. I did.

I felt like I was with other men who I shared something special with.

A connection.

A sense of belonging.

A man amongst men.

Love

Luke

Ps: When I say ‘men or man or male’ – that’s anyone who identifies as such…FYI.

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Day 1,394

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Beautiful but damaged.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Beautiful but damaged. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I had a bad dream last night.

A house that was haunted, but beautiful, but damaged.

We wanted to live in it.

Reimagine it.

Reinvent.

Restore it.

I felt frightened that the house was too damaged to regenerate.

But moved into it anyway.

When I woke up, I could feel the house was me.

That the haunted, damaged past was part of the beauty.

I could see that ghosts of events that happened through me are not me.

A kind piano to play,

in the corner,

sings the darkness away.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,345

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Mean and funny v’s good and generous.

Mean and funny v’s good and generous. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Mean and funny v’s good and generous. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I have a reasonably quick wit.

When I was younger it would get me into a bit of trouble at times.

Because, for whatever reason, the ‘immediately funny’ view of a situation can often be the mean view of the situation.

So, I’ve learnt to forgo the laugh in order to remain true to my belief that seeing the good, the possible…the generous view of a situation is the kinder, more productive and more appropriate approach to just about everything.

Occasionally I fail at this. Mean and funny out competes good and generous.

Damn it.

I’m sorry about that. I really am.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,310

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

The upside.

The upside. Drawing Luke Hockley.

The upside. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

The upside of a very hectic few weeks is that being on the other side of all that busyness can feel amazing. 

Love

Luke.  

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Day 1,297

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Exercise is a miracle.

Exercise is a miracle. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Exercise is a miracle. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

Exercise is a miracle.

Exercise with a mate is pure magic.

I am in an intense week this week and pushed through a wall to get to the gym with my mate Nick.

I can not explain how good it was. How much it helped me feel like a human!

Exercise is a miracle!

Love

Luke

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Day 1,296

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Chosen family.

Chosen family. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Chosen family. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I spoke to my beautiful friend Billie last night.

We’d been trying to connect for weeks, without success, and then finally the stars aligned.

It’s comforting to be back with someone who knows me so well. Who loves me so deeply.

Her little boy asked if “Luke was our family?” 

“Why, yes…he is”

We are a part of each other’s chosen family.

Which is an honour for me.

A real honour.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,267

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

A walk along the creek.

A walk along the creek. Drawing Luke Hockley

A walk along the creek. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

I went for a walk yesterday along Merri creek with a dear friend of mine.

We had some things to talk about, which we did.

There was a moment where we stood under a bridge and played with how the sound reverberated off the massive bluestone arch.

This incidental, childlike playfulness is the stuff of magic.

When these experiences are missing, when a friendship becomes purely about some project or outcome or a working relationship…or much worse when it becomes just about working out conflict or having difficult conversations, then the relationship lacks the reserves to keep itself going.

I find it can be so easy to let these things slip, or not make the time and space for them to happen. They seem like ‘nothing time’, finding time to be bored together so that something light and curious emerges.

In my experience these spaces are where friendship is built.

Which is the most important time of all.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,261

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Like family.

Like family. Drawing Luke Hockley

Like family. Drawing Luke Hockley

Dear Self,

I was raised in a loving, kind and generous family.

It was far from perfect, which was perfect for me.

I know that not everyone has such a positive experience of being in a family.

But I like to think that as adults we can create that for ourselves.

I’ve been running Campfire as a monthly event for around 3 years now. I like to think that one of the reasons people come along is because, for a night, it’s an opportunity to look after the people around you like they are family.

To give them space if they need space, to chat and bring them out of their shell if that’s what they need. To be with them as they are awkward and funny and playful and shy and sad and whatever they are. To help them know that it is ok to be themselves all the time…but especially here, now when we gather around the Campfire and share with each other.

All that we need is for you to be you so that I can be me.

When I say that Campfire is like a Family Concert…that’s what I mean.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,243

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.

Anything I want.

Anything I want. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Anything I want. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

What if I could do anything I want for one day?

What would I do?

I’d sew and sing and spend time with people I love.

Ok.

Done.

Love

Luke

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Day 1,205

Show your support for Dear Self by becoming a monthly supporter of my work or by buying some stamp money. Your support means I can keep doing the things I do to make the world a better place.