I’m concerned that I have started repeating the same letters to you.
I sit down to write and when I think of what I’d like to write I often think…
“Oh, that again…I can’t believe I’m back here.”
It’s one of the more disconcerting things about this daily project.
There’s nowhere for me to hide from myself.
Here I am. Every day. Checking in.
I see patterns in myself much more clearly than I might have.
But also, sometimes I’m still lost in those patterns and can’t see any rhyme or reason to them.
I know they are repeating. I know I am back at some familiar and uncomfortable place…but don’t know exactly how I got here and what might help me get out of here.
I guess I have some more clues. I have a broader sense of what is going on. It has been about 3 years now of daily writing and it just surprises me that I am still repeating the same things with only a little bit of extra insight.
Shouldn’t I have myself all figured out by now?
When I see that written down I get how that sounds.
Being a human is a complex, long term project.
That’s just how it is.
Strangely I find some comfort in that.
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