I stopped having fun.

I stopped having fun. Drawing Luke Hockley.

I stopped having fun. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I stopped having fun with my drawings.

When I first started adding drawings to my letters more than a year ago I was having so much fun.

I was curious about how my scribbles on a page might be able to convey some meaning, add something additional to my daily letter.

But then I got all worried about creating a picture that people would think looked good on Instagram.

That's not fun.

I feel like I’m at a cross roads with this whole project. I don’t think it is time to stop…but I also don't want to keep going with it feeling like this.

I want to get some perspective on it all.

Not sure what that looks like.

Actually, I want to start having some fun with it again.

Which means I have to make it clear to myself that this is a choice, no one is making me do this every day. I’m choosing to do it…but why?

I’m choosing to do it because I can see that over time I make progress in getting to know myself and that I am generally happier. Even if, for days on end, it can feel like I’m getting nowhere.

Why am I sharing that journey? Why not just do it for myself?

I’m hoping that seeing someone else persevere, kindly, with a project like this might encourage people to do their own version of generous self-reflection.

Do I want to keep going?

Yes. Right now I’m learning how to have a sense of humour about the fact that what I am creating each day is not that interesting. Staying in there when it gets tough is a life lesson that has great value to me.

Looks like I’m in for another day.



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Day 864