Today when I got up and thought of writing to you I also thought ‘there are so many things I want to do…is this really such a good use of my time?’
This daily writing/drawing is a check in. It is a moment for me to put a platform under where I am in order to help me build all these other things I am building.
I’m worried it is getting boring and repetitive. For the ‘audience’.
It’s a tricky thing…because I am the audience. And, the people out there who are reading this are also the audience.
I’m a bit worried that this letter is getting shaped too much by my concern for those who are reading it.
Of course, it has always been shaped to some extent by this audience. But my goal has been to have an honest conversation with myself and allow others to see me doing that. I’m just worried that the conversation isn’t as raw or honest as it was at the beginning…I haven’t got any specific evidence that it isn’t…but just a sense that I might be censoring myself…?
Also, and I don't know how this relates, I have this feeling that the well of material I have written…that I want to do something with all of that. It feels like, ironically, very few people are actually reading this stuff and that across time there are some interesting letters that I could curate together to respond to some of the common themes in my writing.
Actually, it feels like doing this, the way I did around friendship for the Friendship show, will help me understand more about what is going on for me. Maybe that’s what is missing? Maybe that’s why I am ‘bored’ of this?
Maybe, rather than stop, it’s time to go deeper?
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