I’m worried that I am no longer having an honest conversation with myself.
I feel like I am so aware that people ‘out there’ are reading this that I’m shaping how I write to myself.
I have to admit that I have always shaped this letter to you. I am aware that it is public and that certain thoughts, certain ideas are not what I want to share…so sometimes I write something and then choose not to share it, that has always felt completely ok…
But I’ve noticed lately when I write I sometimes have a sense of writing to an audience rather than to myself. Which is not really the point of this letter.
The point of this letter is for me to reflect on where I am and what I need to hear right now.
Sometimes I worry that that is boring and repetitive for people reading…but I think the people reading are reading to have an opportunity to sit with someone in the truth of themselves, come what may.
It’s not like I can point to any letters I have written as being disingenuous…it’s more a sense that, if I’m not careful, if I don’t call this now, I may end up shaping my letters purely for an audience’s entertainment rather than for my own honest self-reflection.
So, I call it.
Let’s see what happens now.
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