Touch the wall.

Touch the wall. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Touch the wall. Drawing Luke Hockley.

Dear Self,

I have this terrible habit of not quite touching the wall.

I did this movement culture workshop on the weekend with Ido Portal’s team, it was excellent. Very high-quality teaching, great content and the attention to detail was exceptional. The last, most brutal, session was a locomotion session. You started on one side of the room and moved to the other side of the room in different ways (mainly ways that involved being on all fours or being in a deep squat!).

The detail was you had to start touching one wall and you didn’t finish until you touched the other wall…and they meant it. You keep going until to reach all the way to the other wall.

For them this was about setting a quality standard that you must meet in order to train well.

And they were serious about it. No matter how exhausted you were (I feel like we did this for about 4 hours, I’m sure it was only 2, or even less…but it felt like 4 hours) they expected you to complete each pass across the room by getting all the way to the wall. No exceptions. No excuses.

I learnt a lot about myself in the process of doing this. I’ve grown up a bit. In the past I would have had a much more difficult conversation with myself about this. I would have resented them, felt angry about them making me work so incredibly hard…etc. Instead I just went at the pace that I could go at and moved from one side of the room to the other as best I could.

Last night I looked around my house and realised how often I don’t complete a task, I start something and then I don’t go all the way to the wall and touch.

Little things, like getting the washing off the line. I bring the basket in and sit it in the spare room on the floor and take the pair of undies I need out of the basket and walk away.

The basket sits there. Maybe for a week until it is mostly empty and then at some point I might tidy the last few things up when I need the basket again.

I never quite finish the task, I do just enough to get away with it.

The dishes, bills that arrive and sit in a pile until they are due, paperwork, craft activities…I have this habit of letting myself off the hook before task is complete, before I touch the wall.

I’ve been working on getting better at finishing things…this is a reminder of the importance of that. I did it last night, I put the washing away, I even tidied up the spare room, did the dishes…it feels so much better.

I think I try and fit more in my life by not quite completing things. But the down side of this is a continuous pile of mess that I leave behind me that eventually has to be tidied up. It is a kind of denial about how much I can actually get done in the world and the quality with which I choose to get it done.

I think it also leaves drag in my internal landscape to. Some lack of completion that feels like it is psychologically being carried with me.

So, touch the wall Luke, touch the wall.



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Day 791

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Buying some stamp money is a way to say thanks. A way to show your love and appreciation for the things I make and share.

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