I’m too quickly drawn away from my centre.
I don’t even really know what is my centre, truth be told.
I should. I think about it all the time…actually I viscerally know where my centre is, but I don’t have the words to articulate it.
Who cares? Well, me.
I find not having this anchor really discombobulating.
I find myself pulled around by the different opportunities that present themselves.
I want to clearly be able to say…
‘This is what I’m into, and this isn’t.’
So, hang on…what do I mean by “I viscerally know where my centre is”?
I mean that if I put my hand on my heart and ask myself a I get a signal, a cue, about what I should do. I know, but I don’t have the words for why.
So, doesn’t that say that I know where my centre is?
Is the problem that I want some words to make it easy to tell the story to myself and the world about what I want?
Mainly myself actually. I want the words because my desire to be successful/popular/recognized by my peers is so strong that I find myself drawn to things that I think might represent these things. I want the words that make it easy for me to let go of this kind of crap and just focus on what matters.
Also, I feel like there are many things that are in the centre…but I don’t know how to hold them all. I don’t know how to choose the order to do them. I can’t do everything at once – just too many ideas, so what’s for now and what’s for later?
I think I’d better just ask myself and trust the answers that I get.
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