A long time ago I booked myself into a conference called VidCon.
It is the first time it has been in Melbourne, it is two days of talking about making online content, mostly focused on You Tube.
I went to day one yesterday and it is good for that kind of mega gathering. (Feels like they have about 4,000 people but it could be more or less than that.)
Day two is today and I really want to go…but deep down I know that I need to stay home and rest.
I have a big few months ahead. I’m performing Dear Self, Campfire continues (and maybe goes to Sydney) and I have lots of new things I am experimenting with (which is part of why VidCon was on my agenda…) and then there are all the important people in my life that I want to make time to connect with and to support them in their adventures.
A few weeks ago, I took a risk and had a conversation with a friend about how I felt they had kind of disappeared…and they confessed that they were struggling to manage all the competing demands of life and were subsequently not having the energy to keep in touch with the people they cared for most.
They started to promise they would keep in touch more, do better…
I told them that’s not what I wanted.
I didn’t want them under more pressure. I asked them what they needed to do in order to have the energy to connect with those who are important to them…They said:
“I need time in nature, time alone, quiet time.”
I asked them if I noticed they went missing was it ok to text them and say I was missing them, to ask if things had gotten out of control and to invite them to think about getting some down time…?
Yes. They wanted that.
Then they said:
“I need time to take care of myself so that I can take care of the people I care about.”
This is a big lesson for me too.
As I pursue this new chapter of creating things and asking for a community of people to support me to do that, it can be easy to take for granted the people who are there all the while (whether I succeed or not).
I want to go to the conference today, I would get so much out of it, but I have decided that Sundays are my time at home to cook and clean and do the washing and move and work slowly on creative projects. I can see that occasionally I can compromise on this, but today, given the circumstances, is not one of those times.
That means I’m staying home today.
Caring for myself so that I can care for others.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
I’m performing a reading of selected Dear Self letters in the Melbourne Fringe Festival.
Dear Self – Friendship. September 16th/23rd/30th (click the link, click the link...)